Ghost of Christmas Future: The Next Generation

(Originally published 12/21/20)

Once upon a time, in the weeks leading up to Christmas, holiday specials on the small screen were must-see TV. Adults and children alike dutifully noted the day, time, and channel that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and Frosty the Snowman would air on network television. After all, it wasn’t Christmas until Burl Ives—in his Rankin/Bass snowman incarnation—plowed through the powdery white, banjo in hand, and crooned, “Holly, Jolly Christmas.” It likewise wasn’t Christmas until Jimmy Durante, schnozzola—in vivid 1960s animation—gravelly croaked, “Frosty the Snowman.” All these years later, the lyrics linger: “Thumpity, thump, thump, thumpity, thump, thump. Look at Frosty go. Over the hills of snow.”

I would be remiss here not to mention How the Grinch Stole Christmas with the funny-looking but harmonious folks of Whoville, who, by the way, knew the true meaning of the day. And worth mentioning, too, is The Little Drummer Boy narrated by the somewhat forbidding “Miss Greer Garson”: "Our Storyteller" to be precise. True, “Aaron hated all people,” but that accrued rancor completely dissipated when he laid eyes on the luminescent Christ Child. Was the luminescent thing recorded in the New Testament? Anyway, Aaron witnessed his little lamb, Baba, get hit by a reckless chariot driver. The African king—among the diverse three kings of Orient that also included an Asian and an obese Caucasian—informed the grieving boy that the lamb was near death and that he could do nothing for Baba. “But you are a king,” Aaron said. “A mortal king only…but there is a king among kings,” his majesty replied while gesturing to the glowing infant in the manger. “But I do not understand,” Aaron responded. “It is not necessary that you understand!” the king answered. Understanding has its place.

Flesh and blood folks like Bing Crosby, Perry Como, and Andy Williams did annual Christmas shows as well and we awaited with bated breath for them to sing their signature yuletide songs: “White Christmas,” “Ave Maria,” and “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” respectively. Even Dean Martin Christmas specials appeared for a spell. Nobody sung “Marshmallow World” like old Dino at his campy best. Comedian Bob Hope’s holiday specials regularly included—for some unknown reason—introducing the AP All-American college football team with a procession of painfully unfunny jokes like: “Leslie is so wide. When he plays he has to wear a number and a license plate.” The recurring spectacles reminded me of high school pep rallies and I could never quite establish the Christmas connection. But Bob would ultimately sing “Silver Bells” and all was forgiven.

There were also the variety-show flavors of the day back in the 1970s. Groups and individuals who hosted shows include The Carpenters, The Osmond Family, and Julie Andrews. While the music holds up well in them, the sketch comedy is excruciating to watch. Guest stars on The Carpenters: A Christmas Portrait, 1978, were Gene Kelly, Georgia Engel, Kristy McNichol, and Jimmy McNichol. Only on a TV Christmas special in the 1970s could you see a sister and brother, Kristy and Jimmy, sing “Fum Fum Fum.” I would also say that the busiest guest on holiday variety shows from that era was impersonator Rich Little, who got to do Jack Benny as Ebenezer Scrooge on The Perry Como Christmas Show, 1974. Harvey Korman performed a frenetic one-man Christmas Carol on The Carpenters at Christmas, 1977, which also included Kristy McNichol as a guest star. She must have been pretty big back then to appear in two successive Carpenters’ Christmas specials. They were simpler times for sure.

(Photos from the personal collection of Nicholas Nigro)