Quote the Raving

(Originally published 11/18/18)

The sum total of my subway experience yesterday prompted me to wonder. Wonder if we were in the midst of a Full Moon? Turns out, though, that wasn’t the reason why the natives were especially restless in the Land Down Under. The next Full Moon is later this week.

For starters, I encountered a scary version of Dumb and Dumber. Right out of Central Casting, the duo appeared to be escapees from The Sopranos set. The alpha male, Dumb, was quite squat with a considerable paunch. His shirt just couldn’t seem to cover up all that skin. The guy also had an elongated knife scar on his face and—at one point—took out a big wad of cash and started counting it. He, too, was very proud of his brand-new construction boots and asked Dumber his opinion of them. This all played out in a subway car full of people. Dumb made Joe Pesci sound like William F. Buckley, Jr.

In addition, multiple panhandlers materialized on my various train rides, which is not unusual. A couple of them operated strictly by the book. They stated their respective cases and ambled on through the car. But then there was a pregnant woman asking for help and using her extended belly as a prop. Sad to think what kind of world that child is going to come into. I can’t be certain but I believe this is the same individual whom I’ve seen before and whose panhandling approach is aggressive and literally in-your-face. Simply put, she speaks her piece one person at a time. For those who contribute to her cause, the gal is lavish with praise. Prior to my one-on-one, a fellow passenger was told that he had both great hair and was very handsome. Rather than wait for what flattery was in store for me—I don’t have great hair—I handed her a couple of dollars. What I got in return was a fist bump, which considering the circumstances, I’d rather not have gotten.

No fist bumps were forthcoming with the last visitation. It was not with someone looking for a monetary salve. This fellow was a bona fide raving lunatic. I think, too, I’ve seen him before. He is an African-American man who—on this particular Saturday—took up the cause of the American Indian for several train stops. “White man speaks with forked tongue,” he uttered on more than one occasion during his vitriolic rant. Vis-à-vis the Native American experience, I would be inclined to agree. But he was also speaking of violent retribution in the offing to said white man. And fitting the bill of his enemy profile in a sparsely filled subway car, I thought it wise for me to implement my Charles Manson Rule and make like a tree and leave, which I did, before the raving escalated into something more.

As I awaited the next train, I snapped a shot—for posterity—of the back of the raving lunatic's wool hat-wearing head.

I've been reading today about Bill Maher's remarks concerning the recently deceased Stan Lee and the comic book phenomena. Hey, the guy's a comedian and provocateur. That's what he does. Chill out...social media!

When I submitted my manuscript for The Everything Collectibles Book in 2001, I had lots of clever and some not-so-clever play-on-word headings in it. However, the Generation X developmental editor working with me didn't get any of them, with the sole exception of "Advertising: The Story of Us." The Story of Us was, by the way, a 1999 romantic-comedy starring Michelle Pfeiffer and Bruce Willis, a recent enough movie to still be on the Generation Xer's limited memory drive. Oh, to becoming up with such word plays again like : I prefer the Ladder to the Farmer.

 "Do not lean on door" is no more. No doubt the handiwork of the practical joker vandal.

If you see came first. Then there was something—see. The uber-climax is next: say something!

Next building...

Too much too soon...

Really, it should never snow while the Hydrangea and Rose of Sharon are still green.

Not a pretty sight in wintertime, but worse in autumn: New York City snow remnants.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

What does that really mean? Bring back the Grinch.

The construction of the Christmas tree racks again in front of the local Rite Aid drug store. Time is definitely accelerating...

So, what will it be? Pizza or the Double Burger Cambo?

I'm familiar with hot dogs and burgers, but not concretes. Every day is a learning experience.

A little too much glare to make this an award-winning nature shot.

Seagull on a lamppost in Battery Park City.

Was this a "If you see something, say something" moment. Probably not. Just a guy recharging his phone in a subway station.

Once upon a time people used phone booths like this. Apparently, some Neanderthals still do. It clearly didn't snow as much in lower Manhattan as it did in my part of the Bronx. Mum's still the word!

(Photos from the personal collection of Nicholas Nigro)