99 Cents and More!

Recently, I encountered a message on a local business’ scrolling electronic sign. The shop is one among many comparable peddlers in the neighborhood—a high-end “dollar store,” if you will. Anyway, passersby were multi-colorfully informed that everything in the place—cue the undulating—was “.99 and more!” Now, that covers a lot of ground, I thought, but nicely sums up the current inflationary age in which we exhaustingly traverse. I know, the mainstream media and its preferred talking heads are desperately trying to convince us that what we see with our own two eyes is a mirage and everything—really—is peachy keen. Economist Paul Krugman—if that’s what he is—has declared that “the war on inflation is won, at very little cost.” That is, when you exclude “food, energy, shelter, and used cars.” Mission accomplished then, and something to be grateful for this Thanksgiving as you tally up the cost of the turkey and all the trimmings.

I am likewise grateful for CNN consumer reporter Nathaniel Meyersohn’s explanation of shoplifting run amok. He said, “The concern over shoplifting taps into a larger narrative about how urban areas are out of control.” And here I thought that things were, in fact, out of control. I guess having to ring a buzzer five separate times to summon an employee to unlock a cabinet to purchase Tylenol, laundry detergent, a quart of milk, shampoo, and ear wax remover is just a twenty-first century experience worth savoring.

No question: These are curious, unsettling times. The two major political parties seem hellbent on nominating for president the most unfit and unpopular candidates imaginable in 2024, something akin to several day-old Thanksgiving leftovers. Summoning the optimist in me—difficult as that is—I remain hopeful that a year is an eternity in politics, especially when we are talking about two old geezers battling an assortment of disqualifying obstacles, including criminal trials, senility, and outright madness. Where there is life, there is hope, I guess.

Taking a step back in time, to the immediate aftermath of 9/11: I visited my local offset printing shop—remember those?—which was run by a fellow named Ludwig. As per the norm, he greeted me. “How are you?” he asked. I replied, “Okay, under the circumstances.” Ludwig answered, “I’m glad you said that” and proceeded to vent—justifiably, in my opinion—about the usual suspects’ condemnations of the horrific terrorist attacks against our country. The “But Brigade,” as it were: “We, of course, condemn the attacks, but…” Well, we’ve been kicked in the “but” again. What’s alarming, though, is all too many people don’t even feel the need to say “but” anymore. In just twenty-two years…here we are.

The mostly peaceful protests and riots are back. I love this past week’s Amtrack Northeast announcement: “Due to First Amendment-related events, customers are encouraged to allow extra time to get to Washington Union Station to board their train.” Perhaps the most disconcerting images, for me, are of the indoctrinated, sanctimonious college students—vacuous wind-up dolls—just going with the sewer flow and ripping down posters of kidnaped children and elderly Holocaust survivors. And these are the same young men and women who want their student debts cancelled!

I see now that an advisory group has recommended to New York State’s Education Department to make the Regents examinations—standardized tests administered to high school students since 1876—optional. I recall taking standalone Regents in English and American History during junior year. I also had to achieve a three-year sequence in at least one of these disciplines: math, science, or foreign language. I took Algebra as a freshman, Geometry as a sophomore, and Trigonometry as a junior for my Regents sequence. Fast forward to the present, with increasingly worrisome graduation rates, and the solution to the problem is not—predictably—kicking the teaching up a notch but lowering the bar instead—again. What could possibly go wrong? What has already gone wrong and then some. Stay tuned.

(Photos from the personal collection of Nicholas Nigro)