For too many people to count, all roads lead home—to a
nursing home. As a frequent visitor to one particular institution in the Bronx,
I am reminded of this harsh reality bite on a regular basis and in living
color. It’s not quite Cinema 180, but sights and sounds are all around,
including mysterious culinary concoctions, distant wailing, and television sets
with the volumes on maximum. Considering the price tag of residing in the
place—either temporarily or on a permanent basis—one would hope that both the
service and amenities would be worth the hefty price of admission.
My nursing home model costs about $15,000 a month, which
includes rehabilitation. I appreciate the fact that one is quite expensive to
operate and a heavily regulated nightmare as well. However, if profit is the
bottom line, patients are going to get the short end of the stick. With a
minimalist staff catering to predominantly elderly and—in many instances—very
ill patients, how could it be otherwise?
A couple of days ago, I thought I was witnessing the last
gasps of my relation’s roommate. When I first entered the room she was calmly
sitting in a wheelchair with a table on wheels in front of her—not uncommon
sights in a nursing home milieu. I was pleased when she put her head down on
the table—naptime, I surmised, and better than the alternative, which was
staring at me from across the room.
The woman was alive and well. Well…not so well...really. I don’t know
what her myriad medical issues are, but she painfully grunts and groans as a
rule. Apparently, the nursing home powers-that-be took away her emergency pull
string because she had a penchant for summoning help morning, noon, and night.
The lady may have cried wolf one too many times, but there’s always a first for
everything.
Anyway, to get back to this tale of woe: When a nurse making
her rounds came in to take the woman’s blood sugar reading—it’s always in the
vicinity of three hundred (so much for medical privacy)—and administer meds,
she was having quite a time waking up her patient. After several shouts of the
woman’s name and assorted shakes, the nurse darted off to her mobile station
for a stethoscope, thermometer, and blood-pressure sleeve. Diagnosis: The lady’s
heart still beat, her temperature was normal, and blood pressure in the
range of the living. So, she didn’t breathe her last in my presence. Still, the
poor soul seemed pretty out of it after the scare. I don’t blame the nurse for
moving on. She did what she could and had a whole floor of patients in which to
tend. But it seemed to me that the place should be better staffed to keep watchful
eyes on men and women teetering on the brink between life and death.
While on the subject of bang for your buck, I recently
surfed on over to a favorite childhood summer vacation spot of mine. It was
Manasquan, New Jersey and I was interested in a certain street named after a
certain fish. Once upon a time my family rented a classic railroad-style
cottage there and never paid more than two hundred
dollars for a week’s stay. What a difference four decades make! Most of the
old, inexpensive cottages from the past are two-story homes now. And this
transformation began long before Superstorm Sandy did a number on the area in
2012. The going rate for rentals—a couple of blocks from both the ocean and
Manasquan Inlet—is $5,500 a week in 2018. I’ll happily take three weeks in
Manasquan—the price of a month in a nursing home with its singular room
service—and let that be the end of it.
(Photos from the personal collection of Nicholas Nigro)
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