The Sidewalk Phalanx and Other Annoyances

(Originally published on 12/11/19)

A few days ago on a relatively busy Manhattan street, I encountered the always-annoying sidewalk phalanx. It consisted, in this instance, of three women and a canine. One was walking the dog with a flexi-lead. Another pushed a baby stroller with a child presumably in it. As I was in the phalanx's rear, I cannot say for certain. The third woman on the right flank had no evident duty except to run interference with her companions.

Anyway, the foursome (plus a possible little one) gingerly ambled along, stopping suddenly when Fido veered off to his left for a smell break. We passersby in their rear were left with no choice but to awkwardly zigzag to and fro and endeavor to slither by the oblivious quartet. Of course, I don’t blame the dog for being a dog. It’s the two-legged, who repeated this stop-and-go over and over as they made their way ever-so-slowly up a long city block, whom I hold responsible.

Hear this: Ladies, you are not alone. You are not walking in the Quiet Trails State Nature Preserve in Cynthiana, Kentucky. You’re on Chambers Street, which isn’t all that far from the canyons of Wall Street. 

Speaking of being steamed...

Today in my local Rite Aid drug store, I watched a woman at the check-out counter not miss a beat in a seemingly trivial personal conversation on her smartphone. The aggravating icing on the cake was that she laid the phone down on the counter along with her purchases and I could see the person she was talking with from my position next in line.

And moments after that close encounter of a very annoying kind, I almost got run down by a stupid kid on a bike. Seems it never occurred to him that when turning a corner on a sidewalk that a fellow human being might in his path. That is, after all, what sidewalks are for: People walking on them.

I can certainly understand why New York City has these in some snippets of parks.

And now for something completely different: Christmas on Canal Street. One sale is bigger than the next. If you are shopping for junk in volume, this is the place to be.

No matter where I go, though, there are constant reminders of what slobs we the people are. In this particular case, somebody cut his or her lunch hour short. Must have been really bad news. Sadder still, this person used a pay phone.

All I want for Christmas is a little less garbage.

Question of the day: Would you rather have a piano prodigy in the family or a coffee-making one?

Non-oppressive and anti-imperialist books? Sounds like fun reading. I wonder what the shop's owner pays in rent. Perhaps he owns the building...

I've heard there is a shortage this year of a favored Christmas tree, the Fraser fir. Seems, though, that I hear about some such shortage every year.

A cynic might conclude that it's good for business and the bottom line.

Saw a news story that this Manhattan tree seller sells twenty-foot Fraser firs for $6,500. And worth every penny if one is Michael Bloomberg.

The King of Jing-a-Ling doesn't worry about such things.

Nor Frosty...

Fear not: He'll be back again someday!

Yes, we are closing in on 2020 and Big Brother is watching you and me...

Finally, I've heard all about people seeing Christ's visage in the strangest places, like on a piece of burnt toast or in a field of dead grass. Strange, but I recently saw my image on a subway tunnel pillar.

(Photos from the personal collection of Nicholas Nigro)