Eggs Omelet Style

 

I had almost forgotten about her: Eggs Omelet Style. For identification purposes only—I don’t know her real name—that’s her given handle. I would on occasion see her—once upon a time—in our mutually favorite diner. But I hadn’t encountered her—until yesterday—since the pre-pandemic days: that simpler snapshot in time before all New York City eateries were relegated to takeout and delivery orders only. They can now operate with twenty-five percent indoor capacity—but for how long is the question? I have yet to return for a sit-down meal.

Anyway, I’m happy to report that Eggs Omelet Style is none the worse for wear and has thus far weathered the pandemic. Why, you ask, the curious nickname? Elementary: That’s how this woman wanted her breakfast eggs cooked in the diner. Despite a rather high-strung waitress explaining to her that there was no such choice available, Eggs Omelet Style was unbowed. She would not accept that scrambled, over-easy, sunny side-up, etc., were the be-all and end-all and continued to demand her eggs be cooked omelet style. Her exasperated brother and dining companion vainly attempted to calm the stormy seas.

Full disclosure: Eggs Omelet Style is a bit off, if you will, and prone to turn seemingly trivial matters into high-drama. Not surprisingly, the eggs omelet style request—with an inflexible, harried waitress—inspired an increasingly contentious scene. Fortunately, the diner’s long-time cook, who knew Eggs Omelet Style’s myriad idiosyncrasies, extinguished the fire when he came over to the table and said: “No problem. I’ll make your eggs omelet style. He served her up a couple of runny scrambled eggs with her bacon and all was well.

If I were Eggs Omelet Style’s sibling, I’d take a pass on dining with her in a public setting. She would be on my no dine-list for sure. Going out to eat, for me, is meant to be a pleasant experience, a break from the norm, and free of awkward incidents. Certain people will always find fault with something: the food, the temperature inside the dining room, the noise level. If you want to play twenty questions with the waiter or waitress, forgive me if I stay home and have a pizza delivered. I’d bet the ranch that Eggs Omelet Style has made some special lunch and dinner requests, too. I know this fellow who regularly asks the restaurant staff he’s patronizing if the chef can make him something that’s not on their full menu. Seriously, if you go to an Italian restaurant with a substantive roster of house specialties, do you really need to special request broccoli and spaghetti, which is not among them? No, you don't.

(Photos from the personal collection of Nicholas Nigro)