"Cool Friendly" Versus "Fool Friendly": a Public Service Announcement

(Originally published 6/24/12) 

What I intended to write about last night—before I was literally touched by a rat in a terribly humid and urine-stinking New York City subway station—dealt with the critical matter of “cool friendly” versus “fool friendly” behaviors. For merely an hour or so before my close encounter with a long-tailed denizen of the underground, I witnessed a textbook example of fool-friendly conduct in action. It occurred in a cozy little diner in lower Manhattan, a fast-disappearing relic from days gone by—gritty and greasy with an old-style menu, throwback charm, and affordable prices. In other words, not an eatery for the area’s increasingly foodie-conscious and superficial set to patronize. Couple the changing tastes with the skyrocketing rents in town and—eventually—this culinary dinosaur will go the way of the passenger pigeon.

This diner, nevertheless, still attracts vestiges of those living in rent-stabilized apartments and owned by landlords who pine for the day when their tenants meet their makers. This is the cold hard reality of life in today's Manhattan and why, I fear, New York City is swapping its quirky allure for God knows what.

That said, I witnessed a couple of diner regulars stop by for take-out orders—men who behaved in what they quite honestly believed was cool friendly, but, alas, came across as fool friendly to the wider world. This is actually a public service announcement essay. Having worked in retail for many years, fool friendly is not in the least respected. In fact, just as soon as these verbose patrons exited the premises, the diner staff gleefully mocked them—and deservedly so. Yes, I’ve observed countless fool-friendly behaviors along the way—in where I worked for many years and where I shopped and dined, too.

Come on, folks, do you really want to be ridiculed in absentia by people whom you don’t really know? The retail experience is by and large a grueling one, and folks on the frontlines desperately need to vent their frustrations. I saw that at the diner yesterday, and I was guilty of engaging in more than a little of that many moons ago while on the job. It’s actually what kept us sane, I suspect, because there’s a considerable share of both incredibly needy and rather pathetic loony tunes out and about—and I say that with all due respect. So, if you can, please remember there is a very fine line between being thought of as “cool” versus a “fool.” Generally speaking, less throwaway banter in the public square is better and, yes, silence is often golden.