Down the Up Staircase

Some quick takes on things ranging from the important to the unimportant and a few matters in between. For starters: According to their Grubhub online menu, McDonald’s “Crispy Chicken Sandwich Meal” is unavailable after midnight. Ditto the “Filet O Fish Meal” and several others. Why, pray tell? Yesterday, “40-piece McNuggets” were unavailable after midnight, but “10-piece McNuggets” were available. Today, the “40-piece” can be enjoyed in the wee small hours of the morning. Not that I was planning on ordering anything from McDonald’s during the witching hours—and certainly not a heaping helping of McNuggets—but, still, what gives? Perhaps, though, the larger question is: Why is McDonald’s even open after midnight? Five years ago, a manager on the late-night shift was murdered in a McDonald’s near me.

Full disclosure: I ordered a McRib sandwich when the fast-food icon temporarily brought it back several months ago. It’s gone with the wind again, I see. The chain christened it “famous.” While I thought infamous was a more apt description, the McRib sandwich—considering McDonald’s overall menu—wasn’t half bad. I chose, though, not to dwell on its ingredients, bizarre consistency, and—yes—how it came to be a McRib sandwich.

From Grubhub to DoorDash, another online food delivery service. The available restaurants—who will call on my address—continue to multiply. Clicking on the Chinese food option, for example, supplies me with a mother lode of choices, including AA Chinese Restaurant, Great Wall, Pick Up Six, No. 1 Chinese Kitchen, Ten Ten, Best China House Restaurant, Foo Hing Kitchen, Wonderful Chinese Restaurant, Good Taste, and Hong Kong Sushi. From the everything old is new again file:  New King’s Wok Kitchen, New World Chinese Restaurant, Chen’s New China, and New Golden Fountain.

From fare—fine and otherwise—to the subject of mask-wearing. I just read where two Massachusetts towns, Brookline and Plymouth, are—despite the state’s governor removing them—maintaining their outdoor mask-wearing mandates. While the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recently gave the greenlight to vaccinated folks to take to the streets sans face-coverings, the two towns’ powers-that-be cited “an abundance of caution” for not going with the flow of scientific consensus. Is there an expiration date on “an abundance of caution?”

The science has been pretty clear for a while now that outdoor transmission of COVID-19—unless in close quarters in a crowd—is negligible. Ditto in school classrooms. Oh, by the way, New York City spends $26,588 per pupil. I can say without hesitation that we are not getting a bang for our buck here. In truth, I don’t believe we have a “party of science” from which to choose. Republicans and Democrats pick and choose what science they like and what science they don’t like. Their respective narratives trump science every time.

From science to economics and politics: New York City’s budget for fiscal year 2022 is $98.6 billion. Mayor de Blasio has dubbed it the “Recovery Budget,” which is bigger than the state of Florida’s budget. Florida’s population is some 21 million compared with the Big Apple’s 8.3 million. The Sunshine State, in fact, just gained another House seat at New York’s expense. When I played the Parker Brothers game of Landslide as a kid, New York had forty-one electoral votes, trailing only California’s forty-five. A state’s electoral votes reflect its number of House and Senate seats. Texas has since surpassed New York in population and it looks like Florida—after the 2020 census—will, too.

As you might imagine, Governor Andy Boy is not pleased with this development. And what a difference a year makes. Andrew Cuomo has gone from being a plate of sauteed broccoli rabe served in a five-star restaurant to a weight watcher’s steamed broccoli deli takeout. He is still feuding with Mayor de Blasio, however, having recently thrown cold water on the latter’s announcement of a full reopening of New York City by July 1. The mayor’s press secretary, Bill Neidhardt, responded thusly, “Serial sexual assaulter says what?” It warms my heart to know that I am so well represented.

And now for something completely different. Some staff members at publishing behemoth Simon & Schuster submitted a petition to derail the company’s future publishing of former Vice President Mike Pence’s memoirs. I’m happy to report that CEO Jonathan Karp didn’t cave. His response: “We come to work each day to publish, not cancel, which is the most extreme decision a publisher can make.” Pence’s groveling sycophancy was at times embarrassing, but he no doubt has an interesting story to tell. I recall staff at some other publishing house—many years ago—taking exception to the publishing of another former vice president’s memoir. The man who said: “What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.” This dangerous firebrand, Dan Quayle, whose grandmother passed on such profound advice as: “You can be anything you want to be.” I believe—in some critical circles—that would be considered white supremacist counsel now. How I wish I were only joking.